I have more road trip goodness to share, and I’m really looking forward to doing so, but for now I’m just stopping in to share a gripe about hotels.  First of all, unless the hotel is specifically billed as a rustic escape, there should be an internet connection in the room.  Not in the lobby — well, yes, in the lobby, too — but in my room.  If I can’t surf the web in my birthday suit, the experience loses all its magic.  (Given that tidbit, feel free to use your imagination as to how this website is produced.)

An internet connection in the room is really a no-brainer.  But one thing pisses me off even more than no connection (or an expensive one): the wired connection.  It poses as convenient, when really it’s just as inconvenient as having to go to the lobby or the Starbucks across the street.  Only one computer can hook up at a time.  I’m usually traveling with at least one other person who needs to be online for a good chunk of the night.  You’re stuck to the desk, because the wire is always anchored, allowing you a whole six inches of wire.  The one I’m plugged into right now is so short that it can barely reach the port on the side of my computer.  I actually have my computer angled to the side, because if I try to square it on the desk, the stupid wire can’t reach the port.  This chafes like a picture that won’t stay straight on the wall no matter how many times you adjust it.

It’s bad enough that I can’t surf the web from bed, or even one of the comfy chairs (they’re too big to pull up to the desk and still be able to reach the keyboard), but the icing on the poo-flavored cake that is wired internet is that the desk is always right next to the room’s A/C unit.  So you have to choose between letting the room and everyone in it cook, or trying to work in a constant gust of chilly wind.

I don’t care how nice every other amenity in the hotel may be — if the internet connection is wired, your hotel sucks.

“Long time, no see — where ya been?”
“I was on a road trip.”
“Cool! Where?”
“Montana and Wyoming.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”

I get why I get that reaction. To be honest, my main goal in visiting Montana was to cross off one of the few states on my yet-to-be-visited list. Like many others, I figured not many people live there, there must not be much to it. Hooboy, was I wrong.

My week in Montana was a lot like falling in love with a soul mate. I was wide-eyed and giddy, and also shocked that this thing of beauty was available to me and not already taken by an earlier suitor…or, you know, millions of other tourists. I have no logical explanation for why the place isn’t swarming with tourists. I guess too many people just write it off because it seems like the middle of nowhere — but that vast openness, the Big Sky, is part of Montana’s appeal. And the only way to see it is on a road trip, because if you confine your vacation to a small radius of one of the few airports or cities, you’re going to miss a lot. I’m already scanning the calendar for the right time to go back and check out a lot of the things I didn’t see this time around, like Glacier National Park. But let me tell you about what I did see and do, because it was one of the best trips of my life.

My route was a little wacky, because my trip was broken up by a weekend bridge tournament in Idaho, so you may not want to follow my exact path, but I definitely wouldn’t want to miss any of the stops I made.

Day One: Red Lodge, Montana

A road trip is what brings most travelers to Red Lodge, home to the Beartooth Highway, “the most beautiful drive in America.”  This scenic road to Yellowstone celebrates its 75th anniversary this summer, and quiet Red Lodge will be rocking throughout the summer.  Because the pass is snowed under most of the year, Red Lodge really only sees tourists in the summertime, but most of the local hotels, restaurants, and shops stay open all year, so don’t feel like you have to go when the crowds go.  Red Lodge is the kind of place you’d want to come and turn off your cell phone, laptop, and anything else that pulls you away from the moment and just be in the town.

The main street is lined with old-timey saloons that really welcome you to the West.  It’s easy to get a feel for how the miners and prospectors of the 19th century lived — the spirit of the old west is thick throughout.

I stayed at The Pollard, a beautiful historic hotel in the heart of the town.  I loved this boutique hotel, and I’ll be reviewing it in depth for About.com, so be sure to check out About Hotels to learn more about some of the historic hotels along your Montana road trip route.

Day Two: Red Lodge to Bozeman, Montana

Along the way to Bozeman is a small town called Absarokee, and a can’t-miss Montana road trip stop: Paintbrush Adventures.  This can be a two-hour stop on your road trip for a quick horseback riding experience, or you can make a whole vacation of your visit.  Paintbrush Adventures offers ranch vacations where you live, work, and play on the ranch, custom mountain pack trips including horseback riding, fishing, and camping, and drop camps, where they’ll drop you off with your supplies and pick you up when it’s time to go.  I only had time for the two-hour trail ride, and having never ridden a horse before, that was about all I could take for my first time.  Our guide was one of the ranch owners, and in addition to making sure we were comfortable on our horses, he told us all about the history of the area as we trekked along the Stillwater River and up a mountain for spectacular views of Montana’s highest peaks.

Here I am with my husband with the snowcaps behind us.  Can you tell neither one of us has been on a horse before?

The views are absolutely worth the sore legs.  You wouldn’t expect to get sore from basically just sitting, but it’s not as easy as the cowboys make it look.  Even though I had no idea how to handle a horse, my pony knew how to handle me, and it was a great, relaxing ride.

In Bozeman, we had time for two main stops: The Museum of the Rockies was first.  The rich history of this region starts long before cowboys and Indians — dinosaurs once roamed this territory, and you’ll find a great dino exhibit here.  They also have a planetarium and exhibits on Yellowstone, Native Americans, early American history, and my favorite, the frog exhibit.  Definitely a kid-friendly museum with lots to interest the grownups, too.

The second stop on our brief tour of Bozeman was Montana Ale Works, a hip brewpub where McKenzie had his first bison burger — he recommends it!  From here, we walked around downtown and I wished I could go back in time and apply to college at MSU.  It was one of the larger towns on our road trip, and I loved everything about it — large enough for an airport, all the major shopping and dining choices you’d expect in a city, and still small enough to feel cozy and friendly.

Day Three: West Yellowstone and Virginia City, Montana

On the way to West Yellowstone, there’s a short hike in Big Sky to Ousel Falls.  There’s no shortage of fantastic hikes in Montana, but this one is perfect for breaking up your time in the car.  It’s just under a mile to the falls, with only a small elevation gain on your walk, so this scenic hike should take no more than an hour, but you may want to stop and bask for a while at the falls.

In West Yellowstone, check out the Grizzly & Wolf Discovery Center.  A trip to the Rockies wouldn’t be complete without a bear sighting, and this is a safe place to see them up close.

From there, the road took us to Virginia City.  ”City” is a little misleading — it’s more like a one-horse town, definitely worth a visit.  The historic main street is set up like a museum of the town that was much busier a hundred years ago.  Peek in the windows of the old shops and businesses, preserved as they were a century back.  You won’t find many options for food here, but Cousin’s Candy Shop is a great place to stock up on sweets for the road.  I stayed at another historic hotel here, the Fairweather Inn, which, as the name suggests, is open mid-May through mid-September.

Day Four: Bannack State Park to Butte, Montana

Bannack State Park was probably my favorite stop on the road trip.  This is a must see, and you’re not allowed to come to my website anymore if you skip this attraction.  A gold rush town, Bannack was the first Territorial Capital of Montana.  The town thrived in the late 1800′s, but by the 1950′s, it was all but deserted.  The state then turned the ghost town into a park, and today, over 60 buildings from the gold rush days still stand, most of which are open for exploration.  Here’s a view of the town from the hillside cemetery:

From Bannack, there’s a great roadside stop on the way to Butte called Crystal Park.  For a small fee, you can dig for quartz crystals here, and you’re sure to find plenty.

The best attraction in Butte is the Dumas Brothel.  Active as a house of prostitution in Butte’s once-bustling red light district from 1890 to 1982, the Dumas Brothel is America’s longest-running whorehouse.  And now it’s a museum!  An allegedly haunted one!

Day Five: Philipsburg to Missoula, Montana

Philipsburg is where you’ll find the best souvenirs of your Montana road trip, so you don’t want to skip this stop.  First, visit the Sapphire Gallery, where you can purchase a bag of Montana mine rocks for $25 and pan for sapphires.  Don’t worry — they’ll show you how to find them, and if you come up empty, they’ll give you another bag.  I collected over eight carats of cuttable sapphires in my bag.  For an extra fee, they’ll heat treat  your gems (to bring out the color) and cut them for you so they sparkle and you can have them put in jewelry.  Mine just came in the mail yesterday and I can’t wait to make a ring out of the half-carat blue sapphire I had cut.

Next door to the Sapphire Gallery is the Sweet Palace.  Get your fill of every kind of candy imaginable here before you hit the road again.

On the way to Missoula, you can take a drive through the National Bison Range to check out the wildlife.  Get a good night’s sleep, because Missoula is a place for adventure.

Day Six: Missoula, Montana

Before you leave on your trip, secure a reservation with 10,000 Waves for a whitewater rafting trip in Missoula.  I had one…but the floods had other plans for me, and it wasn’t safe to go out on the river while I was there.  So I spent the day with the guys who would’ve guided me on the raft — instead, they gave me a tour of the town.  Again, I found myself wishing I could go back in time to apply to college at the University of Montana.  What a cool place. Kienan and Ben, our guides, took us to Out to Lunch, Downtown Missoula’s weekly performing arts festival, where we saw a local legend of sorts.  I can’t find anything online about them, but apparently the Particle Movers are local celebrities.  They believe it’s their duty to, well, move particles…something about the balance of nature or something…they apparently believe that music can wreak havoc with the particles, and so they go to wherever music is happening and help rearrange the particles…or something like that.  Ask a local — they can probably tell the story better than I can.  But sure enough, they were there, hard at work moving some invisible somethings while a live band played and local vendors sold food at the park by the river.

In the evening, take a hike up to the M overlooking the university for a breathtaking sunset.  ”Hiking the M” is one of the main tourist (and local) activities in the town.

Between river running, mountain biking, hiking, and checking out the local breweries, you’re going to need to spend a couple of days in Missoula at least.  It’s on the top of my list of places to revisit as soon as I can.

Next up, a week in Wyoming!

When people learn that I’m a travel writer, they always ask me the same question:  Where’s your favorite place to travel?  I really can’t ever answer that with just one destination, but one that I always mention is the Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas.  Gorgeous beaches, gorgeous weather, luxury accommodations, exciting recreation, and some of the best desserts I’ve ever tasted — there’s nothing I don’t love about this resort.

2011 marks the Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas’ 15th anniversary, and the resort’s Crystal Anniversary Celebration package is available now through December 15, 2011.  Starting at $2500 per night, the package includes the following:

• Overnight accommodations in the Presidential Suite or the Ritz-Carlton Suite (this Presidential suite is as presidential as it gets — President Obama and his family have stayed here!)
• Daily breakfast for two
• 80-minute Seaside Cabana couples massage
• Sunset sail on the Lady Lynsey
• Dinner on the Beach
• Magic Moments boat trip
• Crystal Rain therapy treatment
• Engraved Waterford flutes and a bottle of Cristal champagne

A couple nights or a long escape, this is the perfect romantic getaway.  As part of the US Virgin Islands, St. Thomas does not require a passport for US citizens to visit — though you will feel like you are worlds away from home in this Caribbean paradise.  My favorite activities in St. Thomas were snorkeling, where I got to swim with sea turtles, and wind surfing with Island Sol on the hotel’s beach.  I was terrible at it, but it was a great experience, and my teacher was incredible — a few more lessons and I would’ve been surfing in style.

Remember, you’re on vacation, so ORDER DESSERT.  The Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas has an award-winning pastry chef who will blow your mind.  Order two desserts, in fact.  With each meal.  Seriously.

When I was a kid, my family used to vacation in Florida all the time.  I loved the warm weather, the beaches, and of course the amusement parks.  But as I got older, Florida lost its magic for me.  Because it’s a hotbed of bridge activity, I spend a lot of time in the Sunshine State, and most places I’ve been lately just feel so uninspired.  Over-manicured and cookie-cutter.  Soulless.

Florida will always be a great place to enjoy warm weather and work on a tan, but there are few resorts in the state that bring anything new to the table.  One of them is in Fort Lauderdale, and it’s called B Ocean.  It’s the first in a brand new chain called B Hotels and Resorts, and this company looks like a game-changer — in Florida and around the globe.

Why “B?” Because these hotels are about the whole vacation experience.  Not just where or what, but how. How do you want your vacation to be?  Nearly every aspect of your stay at B Ocean is customizable.  You tell them how you want your trip to be, they make it happen.  The best example of this approach is the B Indulged Spa Suite.  You can rent the suite as an individual, a couple, or a group, and everything about your spa experience is customized for you.  You determine exactly how you want to spend your time, combining treatments and services in any way you desire.

B Ocean Spa Suite

I visited B Ocean for its grand opening last month, and it was one of the best Florida vacations I’ve had since I was a little kid at Disney World.  My favorite parts of my visit were:

• The Location – Every room at B Ocean has a spectacular ocean view.  Step outside and you’re on the Ft. Lauderdale Beach boardwalk, perfect for an early morning jog or stroll down the beach.  Just don’t make the same mistake I did and remember to take your sunglasses.  At night from October through March, go down to the beach to witness sea turtles nesting, and watch the hatchlings dash to the sea for the first time.
• B Sensitive & B Humane Programs – B Ocean is a green hotel, with proactive environmental policies in place.  When you arrive in your room, you’ll be greeted by a plush sea turtle, the unofficial mascot of this hotel.  If you choose to adopt the turtle, a portion of your purchase goes to the Sea Turtle Foundation.
• The Cheese Plate at B’stro on the Beach – Who goes to Florida for cheese?  This girl.  You cannot go wrong with any of the featured cheeses at B’stro.  Artfully paired with delicious fresh fruits and nuts, you could make a meal out of these cheeses alone.  But save some room, because everything on the menu is outstanding.  My other favorite nosh was Chef Holli’s Hand-Made Sweet Potato Gnocchi.

From the design to the approach, B Ocean really is a different kind of Florida vacation experience.  There’s nothing cookie-cutter about this hotel.  When you’re there, you call all the shots — how can you not love it?

Hi!  I am still here!  I’ve just been busy moving to my new place in Southwest Portland.  After days of lifting and heaving and pushing and dropping all of my belongings, nothing sounds better to me right now than a morning at a luxurious spa followed by an afternoon on the beach.  Isn’t it lucky for me that The Ritz-Carlton Hotels in Mexico and the Caribbean are offering some great specials right now for summer getaways!

I like my new place and all, but I’d definitely rather have this view right now, at The Ritz-Carlton, San Juan:

Right now at The Ritz-Carlton, San Juan and The Ritz-Carlton Golf & Spa Resort, Rose Hall, Jamaica, you can reserve four nights for the price of three.  And at The Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas, pay for four nights and get a complimentary fifth night.  It’s the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a luxurious long weekend.  Ritz-Carlton hotels feature the finest luxury accommodations, plus five-star spa services and unforgettable vacation activities — whether you’re looking for romance, family fun, or just the ultimate in relaxation, these destinations will deliver.

Visit www.ritzcarlton.com or call 1-800-241-3333 to make reservations and take advantage of these special offers.

Lots of hotels try to pass themselves off as friends of the environment, but for the vast majority, all that means is that they don’t change your towels daily.  Sure, that helps conserve energy and water, but this policy requires absolutely no effort on the part of the hotel.  It’s nice to see more hotels that are environmentally conscious, but I don’t consider a resort to be green unless I see proactive environmental policies in place.

Southernmost on the Beach, a luxury resort in Key West, Florida, embraces the latest in green technology, setting an example I’d like to see other hotels follow.

When we checked in, the front desk clerk explained one of the green features of our room — the keycard-activated electricity.  Right next to the door is the keycard slot pictured here.  In order to adjust your thermostat, you have to insert your key.  When you leave the room, remove your key, and the thermostat goes into “efficiency mode.”  It’s ridiculous for an air conditioner to work at full blast all day when most hotel guests aren’t in their rooms at all — this simple innovation is a major energy saver, and you get the added bonus of not losing your key somewhere in the room — it’s always right by the door for you.

I found several more green touches in the bathroom.  The complimentary toiletries are from the BeeKind line by Gilchrist & Soames — organic products packaged in eco-friendly paper bottles that reduce waste by up to 92% compared to hotel toiletries packaged in standard plastic bottles.

Southernmost on the Beach conserves water with dual-flush toilets in the guest rooms.  Most of the time, all you need is a light, low-water flush.  These commodes let you use only the water you need.  And of course, the towels are only replaced if you ask.

When a hotel embraces green policies and technology, that’s great for the environment, but it’s also great for the bottom line.  Saving energy and water means lower utility bills for the hotel — savings that they can pass on to guests with lower room rates.  Southernmost on the Beach is constantly updating its guest rooms and facilities to include more green innovations.  It’s a beautiful resort, and true friend of the environment.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped into the lobby at the Four Seasons Hotel in Las Vegas was the exceptionally satisfying click my heels made on the elegant marble floors.  The high domed ceilings surely helped the echo, but the real key was the absence of other noise.  To open any door in this town and not hear the ding-ding-ding of slot machines is a rarity.  One of few non-gaming hotels on the Las Vegas Strip, the Four Seasons Hotel is a true desert oasis.

Vegas is perpetually bright and busy, but inside this hotel, you’d never know that you’re just steps away from the hustle bustle of the Strip.  The hotel lobby and meeting rooms are on the first two floors, but the rooms and suites are high above the city, occupying the 35th-39th floors of the Mandalay Bay tower at the far south end of the Strip.  Strip view rooms offer spectacular views of the entire Strip — you can literally see all the way up to the far north end — but you’re far away from the noise and the hurry of it all.

A stay at the Four Seasons is not, however, the anti-Vegas experience.  You’re still on the Strip, connected to Mandalay Bay and its casino and amenities, and a short walk or ride from many more Vegas sights and sounds.  But those sights and sounds can be overwhelming when you’re surrounded by them all the time, which makes the Four Seasons a blissful escape.

While you’re here, you’ll definitely want to visit the spa, where every treatment is customized to your specific needs and wishes.  I recommend the Vitality of the Glaciers Facial, which uses mineral rich glacier water to cleanse and rejuvenate your skin, or the Four Seasons Desert Oasis Body Treatment, a sensory massage treatment using different essential oils each season.

The Four Seasons Hotel in Las Vegas is the perfect place to stay when you want to be in Vegas without being surrounded by Vegas.  When you’re vacationing, you crave two things — entertainment and relaxation.  The Four Seasons offers the best of both.

When that little groundhog told us we were in for a long winter, was anyone prepared for all the snow, snow, and more snow that’s been falling?  Everyone dreams of a white Christmas, but come mid-February, we’re back to dreaming of flowers blossoming, green trees, and warm rays of sunlight, right?  It might be a while before you see any of that at home, but it’s all waiting for you at Grand Cayman island in the Caribbean Sea.  The Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman is offering a special Stingray Splash vacation package with a complimentary fifth night at the luxury hotel.

The package includes accommodations at the Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman, a trip for two to Stingray City, and a free fifth night of your vacation.  What is this Stingray City?  According to ocean explorer and preservationist Jean-Michel Cousteau, it is one of the best snorkeling sites in the world.  To get there, you’ll board the Intrepid motor yacht at the resort’s dock with a group of no more than 8 total visitors.  It’s a 15-minute boat ride to the shallow sandbar in Cayman’s North sound known as Stingray City.

In crystal clear, 3-foot-deep waters, guests can snorkel, play with and feed the gentle stingrays which are accustomed to human visitors.

When you’re not communing with friendly rays, there’s plenty more to enjoy at the Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman:  Silver Rain, a La Prairie Spa, Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment family program, Blue Tip, a 9-hole golf course designed by Greg Norman, and of course all the fine dining options you’d expect at any Ritz-Carlton property.

The Stingray Splash package starts at $609 per night for the high season.  Visit www.ritzcarlton.com for reservations and more information.

Valentine’s Day isn’t really known as a big travel holiday, but what’s a more romantic Valentine’s Day gift than a luxurious getaway for the two of you?  The Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills is offering up an unforgettable Valentine’s Day experience this year called Everlasting Valentine’s Day.

Couples will stay in newly-renovated luxury guest rooms, dine on a romantic breakfast for two, and sip custom Valentine’s Day cocktails like the Chocolate Covered Orange Martini or the Chocolate Covered Raspberry Martini.  Here’s the everlasting part:  the two of you will meet with Opus Oils Jitterbug Perfume Parlour perfume specialist Kedra Hart in a private suite to create your own custom-blended fragrance.   Hart will work with you to select your favorite aromas and blends, and while creating your signature scent, you will learn about the history of scent in conjunction with love rituals throughout the ages.  At the end of the experience, you’ll get to take home a 2oz Eau de Parfum spray and a travel size roll on.  Your personalized perfume formula will remain on file so that you can order refills in the future.

This sounds like a truly romantic experience for any couple, but an especially great idea for couples planning a wedding.  You can create your own wedding day perfume, or give your signature fragrance as a bridesmaid gift or wedding favor.

The Everlasting Valentine’s Day Package is available Friday, February 12, Saturday, February 13, and Sunday, February 14, starting at $535 per night.

If you want to sweeten your romantic getaway even more, sign up for the Lover’s Duet Couples Massage at the spa.  Choose either a 60-minute or 90-minute aromatherapy massage for two in a private suite, complete with rose petals and romantic music.  Couples will be given champagne elixirs infused with dark chocolate and passion fruit and special keepsake items of custom blended massage oil and bath salts.  If you’d like to bring the spa experience home, ask about the 30-minute private massage instructional session for you and your sweetie.

A romantic getaway like this will go down in history as one of your greatest Valentine’s Days of all times.  Treat each other to something spectacular this year.

This week, I’m staying at the lovely Hyatt Regency Hotel & Spa in Monterey, California.  It’s really spectacular.  The rooms are outfitted with lots of comfortable furniture and plenty of luxurious pillows to go with the million threadcount linens on the bed.  It’s the kind of place a weary wanderer could really relax.  Except…

What kind of hotel doesn’t provide Do Not Disturb signs for your door?  The housekeeping staff started knocking at 8am.  That is not cool.

I’m going to let it slide for now, though, because everything else about this place is just so incredibly comfortable, but if this happens every day this week, I won’t be remembering the Hyatt Regency Monterey so fondly.