I’ve been following flight attendant and author Heather Poole on the internet since 2008, and I’ve been looking forward to the release of her book ever since I learned she was working on it way back then.  Even after four years of anticipation and buildup, Cruising Attitude was interesting, fresh, and exciting in every page.

Heather Poole has been a flight attendant for a major US carrier for 15 years, and her book explores every aspect of that exotic lifestyle that most people can never really imagine.  World travel, celebrities, family life, dating, all those rules, and of course, problem passengers.

It’s a riveting memoir full of hilarious and outrageous stories, but it’s also an enlightening read for anyone who travels by air.  A big part of a flight attendant’s job is smiling all the time, so most passengers probably assume they’re happy and never think twice about the fact that these are people with regular emotions.  They’ve heard all the flirting and sweet talk before, and that’s not going to score you a free drink.  You know what might work?  Eye contact.  Please and thank you.  Regular human decency.  Chocolate helps, too.  Maybe it should be common sense, but from Poole’s experiences, it’s clear that many people are clueless when it comes to how to behave on a plane, and the stories that result are hilarious.

This book is not just an entertaining read — it will make you a better passenger.  And it’s the perfect way to pass the time on your next cross-country flight.

1938 P-40

Ever since I was a little kid, airplanes have fascinated me.  I still get great joy out of simply watching them take off and land, or comparing them to each other when they’re all parked at an airport.  I love how in small planes, you can really feel the flight, and I love how in jumbo jets, you feel almost nothing.  Airplanes are just rad; that’s the bottom line.

When I visited the Evergreen Aviation Museum in McMinnville, Oregon (not far from Portland), I was like a kid in a candy shop.  Except I didn’t taste any of the planes.  There are four major parts of the aviation museum:  the main building, which houses pre-1955 aircraft, including the Spruce Goose, which dwarfs everything else in the collection; a second building with the modern aircraft including military jets and spacecraft (rumor has it that one of the recently retired space shuttles will soon be on display here); the IMAX theater; and lastly, the aviation-themed water park, where you can slide down from a Boeing 747 that sits on the roof of the building!

A good visit to the Evergreen Aviation Museum will take all day, but there’s so much to see and do that even little ones won’t get bored.  The docents here are some of the best museum guides I’ve ever met.  Each one is bursting with knowledge and stories about the planes and their history, and they’re so enthusiastic to share their passion — it’s contagious.  I met one volunteer at the museum who had flown P-40′s in the Second World War.  Then when he came home, his parents wouldn’t let him drive the family car!

1925 Ford Tin Goose

The older planes were my favorite part of the experience.  Most of the aircraft in the collection are the original planes that flew as long as a full century ago.  In addition to original aircraft, the museum has reconstructions of historic planes like the Wright brothers’ Wright Flyer.  I really loved the 1925 Ford Tin Goose, one of the earliest commercial airplanes.  Flight attendants were required to spend one month at a four-star resort (tough job!) to learn how to treat their passengers like royalty.  Oh, the good old days.

Spruce Goose

I loved how close I could get to so many of the planes in the collection.  Docents offered peeks inside some of the military planes, and visitors are welcome to step inside the Spruce Goose.  This largest plane ever built flew only one time, in 1947, for approximately one minute.  It was kept flight-ready at a great cost for many years after, but eventually retired to its display in the Evergreen Aviation Museum, hulking over the hundreds of other planes in the collection.

A visit to the IMAX theater is a great way to rest your feet in the middle of your day at the museum.  I enjoyed the Legends of Flight 3D film, which took me on a ride through aviation history.  It’s a first class ticket to ride lots of historic aircraft, as well as an up-close look at the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner, which has been getting a lot of hype as it nears its first delivery date.  The Dreamliner has already completed several successful test flights, and is expected to enter into commercial service sometime within the next few months.

The brand new water park at the Evergreen Aviation Museum opens in June 2011 — a great way to combine some educational tourism with good summer fun.

I’ve been wondering when Southwest Airlines would introduce in-flight Wi-Fi, like many of their competitors have done over the past year.  I was pretty bored on my long flight yesterday — it would’ve been nice to have some web browsing capabilities.  Instead, I flipped through the in-flight mag, and was pleased to see a note in the back that Wi-Fi is on the way.

Southwest has been testing in-flight Wi-Fi for a while now, working to create the fastest connection possible in the air, as well as a user-friendly interactive portal, designed by Yahoo!  Southwest passengers, accustomed to getting for free what other airlines charge for, might be hopeful that Southwest will offer these services at no charge.  Well, not quite.  The connection cost will range from $2-$12, depending on the length of your flight.  Not free, but quite a bit cheaper than what other airlines charge.

Southwest promises that its Wi-Fi services will be worth the wait, as the extra time spent on research and development should yield a superior product.  The airline is currently working to install Wi-Fi on more of its planes, and most of the fleet should be outfitted with Wi-Fi soon.

On a scale of 1-10, I’d rate the Kansas City Airport a 1 — and I only rate it that high because there’s free wi-fi here.

I really hate LAX and JFK where you often have to switch terminals to make a connection, meaning another trip through the security lines.  But at KCI, you have to exit the terminal if you want anything at all.  You can get one of those shrinkwrapped turkey sandwiches for $7.99 by the gates, but if you want real food, you’ve gotta leave the terminal.

And magazines, books, gum?  All that’s on the other side, too.

As luck would have it, my husband and I both really needed food and books, so we left the terminal.  We went to the Mexican “restaurant” here, which offers a grand total of three entrees.  The one I settled on was not good.

When we came back through security to the terminal, the agent at the conveyor belt told the man next to me in line that he needed to perform some extra screening on his laptop.  Then the agent picked up the man’s netbook and proceeded to (accidentally) drop it on the floor.  If that’s part of the security screening, I’m glad my computer wasn’t chosen for the extra scrutiny!

Inside the terminal, the bathrooms are laughably small.  Two stalls per ladies’ room, and one stall and one urinal in each men’s room, according to my husband.  And I know this last thing isn’t KCI’s fault, but that fact that some bitch cut in front of me in line for the loo doesn’t improve my opinion of this place at all.

I’ll be happy to get back on a plane and get the heck out of KCI.

There aren’t too many situations I can think of where you might need to fly with your motorcycle helmet, but in my friend Greg’s case, he had driven his bike to the airport, and then there were no lockers at the airport for his gear — it had to come with him.

While a helmet is made to take an impact, it’s not a good idea to let it take too many unnecessary hits — knocking around in the cargo hold of an airplane isn’t good for it, so if you’re traveling with a motorcycle helmet, you really should carry it on.  Easier said than done.  Helmets are bulky.  So when Greg took his on the plane, he had a problem — it wouldn’t fit in the overhead bin or under the seat in front of him.  Federal regulations forbid passengers from having carry on items in their laps during takeoff and landing, so…what to do with the helmet?

Prepare for takeoff...

Wear it, of course!  What else can you do?  You may feel like a tool, but it’s worth a laugh anyway, and there’s always that one other passenger who freaks out when he thinks you know something he doesn’t…

If you didn’t see this coming, you’ve been living under a rock.  Spirit Airlines announced yesterday that they will soon begin charging a fee for carry-on bags on their flights.  The allegedly low-cost carrier already charges $25 each for your first two checked bags, so you  can forget about avoiding those fees by stuffing your carry-ons.  Those fees will range from $20 to $45 per bag.

Spirit argues that this move will actually benefit customers.  Uh, riiight.  Seriously, here’s their logic:  when passengers have to pay for what they pack, they pack less.  With fewer bags, the boarding and deplaning process will go a lot faster.  Additionally, a lighter plane saves fuel, which is one of the biggest overhead costs for an airline (remember when Jazz Airlines removed life jackets from their planes to save fuel?).  If Spirit saves money on fuel, will they pass those savings on to passengers in lower fares?  Tough question — it seems unlikely, though, doesn’t it?

The new policy will apply to all tickets purchased after April 5, 2010, for all flights after August 1, 2010.  Only items that go in the overhead bins are subject to charges, so if you can fit your carry-on under the seat in front of you, you’re off the hook.  Fees may vary depending on your frequent flier status and whether you pre-reserve overhead bin space.

Spirit Airlines serves mainly the eastern United States, Latin America, and the Caribbean, and is the first American airline to charge for carry-on bags, though many other airlines have severely tightened restrictions on carry-on size.  Industry analysts predict that other airlines will keep a close watch on Spirit as the bag charges begin in August — if the program is successful, you can bet that other airlines will start to copy these fees.  If the backlash is too strong, we may be off the hook for a little while, but it’s probably only a matter of time before most airlines charge for everything you bring on the plane.

As fees increase across the airline industry, it’s important to remember that finding the cheapest flight isn’t just about scoring the lowest fare.  For example, let’s say you have a long trip and you’re taking two large bags and one carry-on.  If you fly on Spirit, you’ll pay $25 per bag per flight, so $50 each for the round trip, $100 total, and let’s assume you pay the cheapest carry-on fee of $20 each way, so in addition to your ticket, you’re spending $140 to bring your luggage.  Yikes!  It will take a little extra research on your part, but if you really want the lowest price, you’ll need to compare more than just airfares.

If I had grown up in Portland, flying in and out of PDX, I’m certain that I would have become a pilot.  The views on a clear day are just spectacular.  Here’s a brief look inside my love affair with the Cascade Mountains of Oregon and Washington.

Programming note:  I’m trying new things here.  This is my first attempt at using a gallery and I’m not sure I’ve done it right.  In fact I’m fairly certain I’ve done it wrong.  But in any case, click on the first thumbnail here and then you can navigate through this installment of The Window Seat, and I’ll work on figuring out a way to make it prettier for the next one.

For most of us, it’s not like we have a choice which airports we’ll patronize.  We find the cheapest tickets for the most reasonable trips and we go where the airlines and geography dictate.  Sometimes, though, it’s worth an extra $50 in airfare or an extra 45-minute commute to avoid our least favorite airports when we can.  I know that if I can avoid connecting at LAX (Los Angeles) or JFK (New York City), I will, and I’d rather fly out of WAS (Washington-Reagan) than IAD (Washington-Dulles) or BWI (Baltimore), and that if I’m flying out of Florida, my first choice is TPA (Tampa).  I’m also eternally grateful that my home airport, PDX (Portland), is so completely wonderful, because I don’t have a choice about that one.  According to the J.D. Power and Associates 2010 North America Airport Satisfaction Survey, most of the country agrees with me.

Among the large airports (30 million passengers per year or more — mostly large hubs), I would stop short of calling the top-ranked the “best,” and probably just think of them as the least bad.  Basically the survey boils down to how efficient an airport is — can you get in and out quickly, with minimal hassle?  In large airports, the answer is almost always going to be no.  Some are more efficient than others, certainly, and those are the ones that perform best in this survey, but if you’re checking in at a huge airport, expect longer lines just about everywhere, including on your way in and out — baggage retrieval at hub airports always takes FOREVER.

Another main factor in the survey is airport comfort — how good are the amenities inside the terminals?  Shopping, food, internet access, comfy chairs, etc.  Large airports tend to have great selections for food and shopping, but again, long lines…I find that unless I have a long layover, I almost never have enough time to grab lunch at a hub while waiting for my connection.  So in general, I’m not a fan of large airports, though some are certainly better than others.  According to the survey, America’s favorite large airports are DTW (Detroit), DEN (Denver,) MSP (Minneapolis-St.Paul), and DFW (Dallas-Fort Worth).

JFK and LAX both scored very poorly on the survey.  I especially loathe these airports because of the way their terminals are set up, each with its individual security checkpoint.  That means that often when I connect at one of these airports, I have to switch terminals and go through a whole new security line, even though I’ve already done it once that day.  I’ve missed a lot of connections because of this — waiting for trains to move you from one terminal to another is enough of a hassle, but it would be nice if these airports would at least put some trains on the cleared side of the security gates.

Medium-sized airports are the best, in my opinion.  They’re small enough to get through check-in and security without too much of a wait (I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by how fast and efficient the TPA security line was), and large enough to offer a nice selection of retail and dining inside the terminals.  These airports are also usually served by low cost airlines like Southwest, JetBlue, and others, whereas these airlines often don’t fly to the largest airports. And most of them offer free wi-fi.  Topping the survey of mid-sized airports (10 million – 30 million passengers per year) were MCI (Kansas City), PDX (Portland! Woo!), and TPA (Tampa).

Most of us don’t choose our destinations based on the airports that serve the area, but you can choose routes that avoid certain hubs, and most large cities have at least two airport choices.  Do you have any favorites or least favorites?

Travelers are generally outraged that American Airlines will be charging $8 for blankets on their domestic flights.  Nevertheless, the announcement comes as no surprise, and I pretty much expect other airlines to make similar announcements soon.  JetBlue and US Airways already have charges in place.

Can you think of any flight that was ever a comfortable temperature?  It’s almost always chilly on airplanes, and AA is hoping to capitalize on passengers’ silly optimism that their next flight might actually be different.  But you do not want that blanket — even if it’s free.  According to a flight attendant friend, those blankets rarely get washed and are probably dirtier than the airplane lavatory.  So wear warm clothes on your flight.

Even if you’re flying from Miami to Cancun in July, you’re going to want to wear a sweatshirt and long pants for the plane.  Your shorts and tank tops go in the suitcase for when you reach your destination.  This is a no-lose situation.  No one ever overheated because they were wearing jeans, and a full zip hoodie lets you regulate just how bundled up you’ll be, and you get a little extra pocket space for anything you want handy on the plane.  In the rare event that it gets too warm for long sleeves on the plane, shed your hoodie and use it as a pillow (pillows are also no longer free on American Airlines).

While it’s fair to whine about being nickel-and-dimed by the airlines in most cases, blanket charges are totally avoidable, and if you find yourself “having” to pay $8 to stay warm on a plane, it’s your own fault.  Wear layers and quitcherbitchin’.

Packing your bags for a trip is a complete nightmare.  Almost all the major airlines in the US charge passengers to check luggage, and those fees keep going up — most of these carriers upped fees again just last month.  Airlines are cracking down on their carry on policies more than ever, too, and you’ll be hit with more fees if you try to sneak an oversized carry on bag, or an extra carry on, onto your flight.

The best way to avoid extra fees when you fly is to pack all of your things in a carry-on.  Keep in mind, though, that you’ll have to remove certain items at the security checkpoint, like laptops and liquids, and you’ll also have to tote that bag with you everywhere you go.  You need a piece of luggage that meets size requirements, is easy to transport, and provides easy access for the things you’ll need to remove and replace at security.

The new Samsonite xSpace Spinner might just be the perfect carry on.  It’s compact enough for a standard overhead bin, but large enough to fit up to a week’s worth of clothing.  It comes with a TSA-friendly quart-sized clear toiletry bag that you’ll need for your liquids at security and plenty of pockets to separate things like your clothes, toiletries, and portable electronics.  Seriously, this thing has so many pockets, I keep finding new ones on mine.  It’s great — makes it very easy to stow my laptop in its own pocket for easy removal and replacement at security.  The spinner also comes with a removable toiletry kit and a day pack/laundry bag.

The fabric of the bag is a stain-resistant poly/nylon blend that will be able to handle a bumpy ride like a champ.  It’s got four wheels, so it smoothly rolls upright.  You won’t have to drag it along through airport after airport.  I love this suitcase, and I’d recommend it to any traveler — and I’m going to give one away!

Here’s how you can enter to win a free Samsonite xSpace Spinner:

Leave a comment on this post and tell me a story about a luggage nightmare you’ve experienced while traveling, or just tell me where you’ll go on your first trip with a new Spinner.  Interesting stories will earn brownie points, but I’m going to select the winner at random from the valid entries.  You may only enter the contest one time.  Multiple entries from the same person will be disqualified.  You must provide a valid email address so I can contact you if you win.  Your email address will only be visible to me.  I will close the contest to new entries on 2/28/2010 at 11:59pm PST, and select a winner on 3/1/2010.  You will be notified by email if you win.  Good luck!