When you unlock the driver’s side door, the car begins to tick; it’s like a time bomb.  It is a time bomb, actually — because if you don’t get the key in the ignition and crank it over within about 10 seconds, the horn starts blaring, lights start flashing, and you become that guy — the one who can’t get his #&@! car to shut up.

It took me a little while to figure out this routine.  Unlock the door and TOUCH NOTHING until you start the car.  It’s really annoying to have to start the car every time you want to grab something out of the back seat or trunk, and of course we still set that stupid alarm off at least once a day, but hey, I’m paying $7 a day for this thing; I’m not complaining.  Much.

The 2010 Ford Focus that my husband and I rented from Alamo in south Florida is really not a bad car, and you can’t beat the price.  But sometimes I do want to beat this car with a stick.  This car is kind of an asshole.

The stereo automatically mutes itself until everyone is buckled up.  This isn’t a problem, really, because of course everyone should buckle up all the time, but it gives the car a major air of self-righteousness.  I was gonna buckle up before we got going!  Stop assuming I’m so irresponsible!  Yeesh.

The real issue with the stereo, though, is that it won’t let you turn up the volume very far.  This thing is just loaded with parental controls.  Look, I’m not some reckless hooligan, but I like to drive with the windows down and the radio up and this a-hole car won’t let me enjoy that.  Screw you, cheap Focus.

Possibly the most obnoxious of the controls on this car is the speed governor.  Now I wasn’t planning on driving over 80mph, so I don’t really mind that I can’t, but what I do mind is that the car won’t stop dinging to warn me that I’m close to my max speed when I’m driving 75mph.  The speed limit is 70, and everyone knows that the real speed limit is whatever’s on the sign +10.  I should be able to go 5 over without the car flipping out on me.  And I’d like to be able to hear my music while I barely speed, please.

Lastly, our rental is black.  I’m not car racist, but this just isn’t a good idea in south Florida in the summer — look what it did to my gummy bears!

Not all of Alamo’s rental cars are like this one, and next time I rent one, I’ll be sure to get one without so many controls.  And honestly, for $7 a day, it could be a lot worse.

Want to know how we found a $7-a-day rental?  Read my tip on Traveldudes.org.

Lots of hotels try to pass themselves off as friends of the environment, but for the vast majority, all that means is that they don’t change your towels daily.  Sure, that helps conserve energy and water, but this policy requires absolutely no effort on the part of the hotel.  It’s nice to see more hotels that are environmentally conscious, but I don’t consider a resort to be green unless I see proactive environmental policies in place.

Southernmost on the Beach, a luxury resort in Key West, Florida, embraces the latest in green technology, setting an example I’d like to see other hotels follow.

When we checked in, the front desk clerk explained one of the green features of our room — the keycard-activated electricity.  Right next to the door is the keycard slot pictured here.  In order to adjust your thermostat, you have to insert your key.  When you leave the room, remove your key, and the thermostat goes into “efficiency mode.”  It’s ridiculous for an air conditioner to work at full blast all day when most hotel guests aren’t in their rooms at all — this simple innovation is a major energy saver, and you get the added bonus of not losing your key somewhere in the room — it’s always right by the door for you.

I found several more green touches in the bathroom.  The complimentary toiletries are from the BeeKind line by Gilchrist & Soames — organic products packaged in eco-friendly paper bottles that reduce waste by up to 92% compared to hotel toiletries packaged in standard plastic bottles.

Southernmost on the Beach conserves water with dual-flush toilets in the guest rooms.  Most of the time, all you need is a light, low-water flush.  These commodes let you use only the water you need.  And of course, the towels are only replaced if you ask.

When a hotel embraces green policies and technology, that’s great for the environment, but it’s also great for the bottom line.  Saving energy and water means lower utility bills for the hotel — savings that they can pass on to guests with lower room rates.  Southernmost on the Beach is constantly updating its guest rooms and facilities to include more green innovations.  It’s a beautiful resort, and true friend of the environment.

There aren’t too many situations I can think of where you might need to fly with your motorcycle helmet, but in my friend Greg’s case, he had driven his bike to the airport, and then there were no lockers at the airport for his gear — it had to come with him.

While a helmet is made to take an impact, it’s not a good idea to let it take too many unnecessary hits — knocking around in the cargo hold of an airplane isn’t good for it, so if you’re traveling with a motorcycle helmet, you really should carry it on.  Easier said than done.  Helmets are bulky.  So when Greg took his on the plane, he had a problem — it wouldn’t fit in the overhead bin or under the seat in front of him.  Federal regulations forbid passengers from having carry on items in their laps during takeoff and landing, so…what to do with the helmet?

Prepare for takeoff...

Wear it, of course!  What else can you do?  You may feel like a tool, but it’s worth a laugh anyway, and there’s always that one other passenger who freaks out when he thinks you know something he doesn’t…

If you didn’t see this coming, you’ve been living under a rock.  Spirit Airlines announced yesterday that they will soon begin charging a fee for carry-on bags on their flights.  The allegedly low-cost carrier already charges $25 each for your first two checked bags, so you  can forget about avoiding those fees by stuffing your carry-ons.  Those fees will range from $20 to $45 per bag.

Spirit argues that this move will actually benefit customers.  Uh, riiight.  Seriously, here’s their logic:  when passengers have to pay for what they pack, they pack less.  With fewer bags, the boarding and deplaning process will go a lot faster.  Additionally, a lighter plane saves fuel, which is one of the biggest overhead costs for an airline (remember when Jazz Airlines removed life jackets from their planes to save fuel?).  If Spirit saves money on fuel, will they pass those savings on to passengers in lower fares?  Tough question — it seems unlikely, though, doesn’t it?

The new policy will apply to all tickets purchased after April 5, 2010, for all flights after August 1, 2010.  Only items that go in the overhead bins are subject to charges, so if you can fit your carry-on under the seat in front of you, you’re off the hook.  Fees may vary depending on your frequent flier status and whether you pre-reserve overhead bin space.

Spirit Airlines serves mainly the eastern United States, Latin America, and the Caribbean, and is the first American airline to charge for carry-on bags, though many other airlines have severely tightened restrictions on carry-on size.  Industry analysts predict that other airlines will keep a close watch on Spirit as the bag charges begin in August — if the program is successful, you can bet that other airlines will start to copy these fees.  If the backlash is too strong, we may be off the hook for a little while, but it’s probably only a matter of time before most airlines charge for everything you bring on the plane.

As fees increase across the airline industry, it’s important to remember that finding the cheapest flight isn’t just about scoring the lowest fare.  For example, let’s say you have a long trip and you’re taking two large bags and one carry-on.  If you fly on Spirit, you’ll pay $25 per bag per flight, so $50 each for the round trip, $100 total, and let’s assume you pay the cheapest carry-on fee of $20 each way, so in addition to your ticket, you’re spending $140 to bring your luggage.  Yikes!  It will take a little extra research on your part, but if you really want the lowest price, you’ll need to compare more than just airfares.

Not many people go driving through northern California.  There’s not a lot going on there and it’s pretty far from any major tourist destinations, but there are lots of great camping spots in the area, and some great roadside attractions if you ever find yourself passing through.  On our recent drive from Portland to Reno, my husband and I were rolling down lonely CA-139 when we saw signs for Petroglyph Point just south of Tulelake, California.

Petroglyph Point is a really stunning rock standing in the middle of a vast plain in Lava Beds National Monument.  The plain used to be covered by Tule Lake, and this rock was an island in the middle.  The water carved some fascinating patterns on this stone.

Ancient inhabitants of this region used to canoe out to the island and carve artwork into the rock.  No one today knows the true significance of the carvings, but historians are certain that it is artwork and not writing, because the tribes that lived in the area had no written alphabet.  The age of the rock art is not known for certain, though some researchers date it at up to several thousand years old.  Their best guess is that this art tells a story of some sort, but there’s little evidence to indicate what that story may be.  Perhaps it’s something about bugs.

Walking around this rock, you can see petroglyphs stretching out all along its base — some are higher than others, and while in some spots the glyphs are very faint, there are other points where the rock is very busy with carvings.

Petroglyph Point is a spot where you can really see ancient history — both in the carvings done by humans and the patterns left on the rock from the water.  Definitely worth a detour if you’re in the area.